Dan and Amy

Dan and Amy done got married! (I'll add pics soon) Congrats to them! It was an intimate and wonderful event! I am glad I was able to share that great day with them. But now on to the good stuff... I gave a speech... just because I've known Dan a long time and thought it would be fun for everone. Here is the speech (below), tell me what you think. Would you have laughed?

First, for those of you who don’t know me, my name is Whatwouldyouliketodrink. I hope all of you come by and say hello at the bar later, but I do insist you use my full name.

No, my name is Curtis and I have known Dan since 6th grade and Amy since my 7th year in undergrad. What? It’s a tough program!

Disclaimer: The restaurant management have asked me to ask you not to stand on the tables or chairs during the standing ovation at the end of my speech. That means YOU Walter.

Dan: I hope you laugh
Amy: Relax. I know you think this speech will be full of sexual innuendos, it isn’t. It was. But then Anna caught me writing this and made me take it out.

Ladies and Gentleman, you are about to witness a unique event in history – the very first and last time that my wife is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. It’s a privilege and an honor to do so. I just hope that, so soon into our married life, I don’t let her down.

As I look around the room I am surprised at just how far some people are prepared to travel for a free meal. It’s amazing. I even showed up early, just in case they ran out of food.

Soon after Dan told me he was getting married he asked me what it was like to do the same. I had explained to him that I had never known what true happiness was until I had married, but by then it was too late.

I think only Amy and my wife Anna would know this, but since 6th grade Dan and I have communicated almost everyday. Via IM, email, text message… and especially the phone. Like Tom Brady of the Patriots said last week of his back-up quarterback... “we are like two teenage-girls”. We laugh, we fight, Dan cried once… then we hug it out. Why do we keep in constant communication? Know one knows, not even us. The topics are always random, but the conversations always end the same: One of us says “alright”, and the other says “alright, talk to you later”. It’s going to be tough when they go away… especially for Anna, she is going to have to put up with all the non-sense Dan has listened to over the past 15+ years.

A few days ago I received an e-mail from Amy (Hold up fake e-mail from Amy). She had a feeling I would be saying something here, so she had a small list of “suggestions” I should follow:

1. Do not get drunk
2. Do not use bad language
3. Do not tell dirty jokes
4. Do not sing
5. Do not let Dan sing
6. Do not let Dan drink tequila
7. Do not let Dan drink whisky
8. Do not let Dan drink
9. Finally, make sure you keep your clothes on and make sure Anson keeps his clothes on. (I don’t know what she heard about Anson and I, but we are just “friends”)
   

- Love, Amy

- Amy, you are a lucky, lucky girl!
- I have to say Dan, you have married a beautiful, intelligent, talented, and exceptional woman.
- Amy, I have to say, you have married Dan.

I’m almost done folks… and as the Red Sox said to the World Series trophy a few years ago… I won’t keep you long.

Obviously, I am here to tell more than jokes. So I am finally ready to focus my attention to the most important people here today. The people we feel a great love for and without whom today would not be possible. At some stage of the evening I’m sure we will all be sharing with them our thoughts from this special day and giving them our love and best wishes. So I would like to propose a toast to: The Bar Staff!

Seriously, I would love for you to join me in wishing them many, many years of happiness. - Ladies and gentleman… to Amy and Dan.

Dan, I leave you with three little words that will help your marriage last forever…
“You’re right Amy”

That’s the end of my speech. I’m sure you will be as glad as I am… that its over.

Bona Cera!